Now brace yourself, these aren’t your ordinary acquisitions. No. Not at all. Be aware that these are antiquated names sure to raise an eyebrow or two. Once lost in the sands of time, these players seek to reestablish themselves through the means of a minor league contract with an invite to spring training. For many of them, it’s one last chance to prove relevant again. One last gasp for air. One more chance.

As fellow Swingin’ A’s scribe Sean Davis detailed in his article bringing attention to brittle bodied Bobby Crosby’sattempt at a comeback this spring with the Milwaukee Brewers. The often injured, slider flailing middle infielder, will seek to resurrect his career at age 33 in 2013 and make the Brewers bench. Despite being out of baseball for two seasons, Crosby will have to show that he has something left in the tank as the odds are stocked against him.

Crosby won’t be alone in his quest for a triumphant return to the big stage; a multitude of relics from the A’s past will dot the rosters of Major League teams this spring. Let’s take a look a few standouts, for old times sake.

Miguel Tejada, Kansas City Royals

Mandatory Credit: Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

Quick, grab a Giants fan. Any Giants fan will do. Got them? Good. Ask they why they didn’t repeat in 2011. Go ahead ask them. Without a doubt they’ll point to Buster Posey’s horrific season ending ankle injury at the hands of Scott Cousins and the Marlins. That much is obvious. Yet allowing a Giants fan to further elaborate, they’ll inevitably point a finger a former A’s MVP Miguel Tejada as a scapegoat for his inability to adequately replace departed playoff hero Juan Uribe. Looking at his 2011 numbers, it’s hard to argue with their claim. Tejada was an unmitigated disaster both in the field and at the plate. Never one to walk, his declining bat speed struggled to a .239/.270/.326 line while providing little defensive value at third base or shortstop. Discarded in September after being replaced in the lineup by the equally useless Orlando Cabrera, he couldn’t find any takers over the winter and had to settle for a short early-season stint with Baltimore’s Triple-A team in 2012. Unable to fight his way back, he was unceremoniously released in June  and for all intents and purposes it appeared his illustriously troubled career was over at age 38. Latching on with Kansas City this December, Tejada will try to prevent his career from a flatlining for a third time in as many years. Even if he fails in his attempt, Miggy will always have his fair share of admirers in Oakland who fell in love with his aggressively joyous style of play in the early 2000′s. Hopefully by now he’s finally gained an understanding of the obstruction rule.

Charles Thomas, Kansas City Royals

Raise a hand if you saw this one coming. Charles Thomas, the lone position player acquired in the ill-fated Tim Hudson deal has latched on with Kansas City Royals at age 34 after being absent from affiliated baseball since 2007. “Two Buck Chuck”, as he was so eloquently referred to by the Oakland faithful was never ever to solidify his place with the Athletics after his acquisition. While never truly regarded as top prospect, there was still a level of buzz circulating around him when reporting to Oakland camp in 2005. Thrown in the starting lineup a season earlier in Atlanta, Thomas proved himself to be a decent injury replacement by hitting his way to a .288/..368/.445 line while providing stellar defense as the Braves primary left fielder during the second half of the season. Expectations were tempered, but it seemed perfectly logical that he could settle into a role on the bench as the A’s resident spot starter and defensive replacement. Unfortunately Thomas could not adjust to the spotty playing time and new league, hitting a career crushing .109/.255/.109 in 30 games before being exiled to the Triple-A. Never to be heard from again.

Or so we thought. Now I have no inside information concerning his out of the blue agreement with the Royals. I really have no idea if he has incriminating photos of Dayton Moore from their time in Atlanta together, or if he just knocked them dead at an open tryout. Whatever the case, Thomas always seemed like an affable chap, and it’s nice to see him get another opportunity. Here’s hoping he’s the second coming of Roy Hobbs.

Jeremy Bonderman, Seattle Mariners

Although never blessed with the opportunity to suit up in green and gold, Jeremy Bonderman nevertheless cemented a place in Athletics lore thanks to no devise of his own doing. As told by Michael Lewis in the pages of Moneyball, Billy Beane was so enraged by Bonderman’s 1st round selection in the 2001 draft that he threw a chair through a wall. This incident, eventually led to the departure of scouting director Grady Fuson and the eventual shipping of Bonderman to Detroit a year later. From that point on, it seemed that whenever he faced the A’s, Bonderman would develop a chip on his shoulder the size of Alaska and would attack the A’s hitters with a furious vengeance. The secondary numbers against Oakland were amongst his best against any opponent. Looking past the pedestrian 4-3 record showcased a 3.49 ERA and 1.30 WHIP in 8 regular season starts. Since his career was put on two-year hiatus due to arm injuries, Bonderman has deemed himself recovered from surgery and recently found a suitor in Seattle who will give him a chance to reestablish himself in 2013. Unfortunately for the A’s, this gives Bonderman a chance to further enact his revenge if he can get his career back on track at age 3o.

Honorable Mentions:

Mark Teahen (Ari), Jason Pridie (Bal), Conor Jackson (Bal), Erick Threets (Col), Kevin Kouzmanoff (Mia), Michael Wuertz (Mia), Donnie Murphy (Mil), Rich Harden (Min), Landon Powell (NYM), Omar Quintanilla (NYM), Dan Johnson (NYY),  Travis Buck (SD), Jason Ray (SD), Chad Gaudin (SF), Javier Herrera (SF), Brandon Allen (Tex), Aaron Cunningham (Tex), Ryan Langerhans (Tor), Greg Smith (Tor)

The 2005 season rolls around, and the A’s have their new shortstop coming of a strong rookie campaign, looking to improve in his sophomore season.  He has trouble staying healthy though, playing in only 84 games.  When he was on the field he was fairly productive, posting a .276/.346/.456 line with 9 home runs and 38 RBI.  Despite his health issues he seemed truly primed to break out.

Prior to the 2006 season Peter Gammons, then with ESPN, predicted that Crosby would win the AL MVP (I wasn’t able to pinpoint a source, but Google “peter gammons bobby crosby 2006 mvp” and you’ll see, trust me).  A notion that to this day seems horribly laughable.  It didn’t happen, he hit .229/.268/.338 in only 96 games, again sidelined with injuries.  This would be the story of the remainder of his Athletics career through the 2009 season.  Safe to say Gammons was a bit off on that prediction.

I bring up Crosby now because just a few days ago he signed a minor league contract with the Milwaukee Brewers as reported by Ken Rosenthal.  He last played in the Major Leagues in 2010 with the Pittsburgh Pirates and Arizona Diamondbacks.  As Bobby Crosby tries to fight his way back into baseball, I stop to wonder what if…

What if Bobby Crosby had been able to stay healthy, what if he had been able to maintain the power production he showed in his rookie season and the plate discipline he showed in his sophomore season?  It’s safe to say that the Athletics gave Crosby a number of chances over the years and he was never able to deliver.

Say Crosby did though, what might have happened with the Athletics?  Maybe he and Eric Chavez would have been able to form a formidable tandem in the middle of the A’s lineup that could have propelled the A’s into a period of success during the late 2000′s instead of a perpetual rebuilding phase.  If Bobby Crosby had been able to live up the high expectations set by the likes of Peter Gammons prior to the 2006 season, would the A’s have found a way to get past the Detroit Tigers in the ALCS?  A healthy and productive Crosby would have enabled the A’s to play Marco Scutaro at second base in place of the injured Mark Ellis, and we never would have had to see D’Angelo Jimenez in the first place.  In bizarro A’s baseball world, Bobby Crosby won the AL MVP and helped lead the A’s to the 2006 World Series Championship over the St. Louis Cardinals.  Maybe the A’s would have already secured a new stadium, perhaps even in Oakland.  Maybe the San Francisco Giants wouldn’t have won 2 out of the last 3 World Series, further burying the A’s under a pile of orange and black confetti (garbage).

I don’t often take myself to bizarro A’s baseball world, but sometimes you’re simply whisked away to an imaginary land of high on base percentages, reached potential, and a severe lack of 15 day DL trips.  That’s the land where Bobby Crosby isn’t a 33 year old infielder just trying to make it onto a 25 man roster.  It’s where neither he nor his meddlesome father complain about the A’s training staff.  It’s where our own Devin Pangaro never had to see Cliff Pennington in green-and-gold.  During the doldrums of the offseason, it’s a place we can all visit and wonder what could have been.