Jose Canseco’s Finger Falls Off

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When I first heard news of the accidental shooting off of Jose Canseco’s finger by none other than Jose Canseco himself, I immediately began preparations of my “All Canseco Twitter Roundup” but in the days following I restrained myself because the incident, which could have easily been much more serious, seemed to really shake the man and I thought it was in bad taste to make light of such a serious situation. Then came the tweets from Jose Canseco on Friday. Now it’s go time!

Ok. This could be anything. Did your finger turn blue? Were the cards sticking to your finger? Did it fall off of your hand completely? Who knows. The possibilities are endless!

Wow, you’re quite the tease, Jose Canseco. Also, you spelled damn wrong, but I’ll forgive you because you’re clearly building to something. You’re foreshadowing a crazy finger incident revolving around a finger that “feels” like it’s going to fall off. I can’t wait to see where you’re going with this.

@#$%! Your finger actually fell off? I mean, come on. You’re being hyperbolic, right? You just said that you felt like it was going to come off and now it’s off? Oh, wait, there’s video? Well, until I see the video or hear you boast about how you’re stronger now for having lost the finger, I’m not going to believe it’s true.

Oh my goodness, it’s true! But, wait, how could a finger that was surgically assembled simply fall off. Also, how did the finger smell? These are the questions I demand answers to!

That’s probably true but I’m pretty sure if you lost a bet involving your finger, someone had to cut it off after the fact. Fingers rarely just fell off at the poker table in the wild wild west.

I think the phrase you’re looking for are finger foods. Also, I think this tweet is disgusting. Take the thing out of your freezer. If it fell off once, it’ll just fall off again and in a more inappropriate scenario. Time for a prosthetic. But wait, there’s more!